


Choose your words ‘cause there’s no antidote for this curse

by Malec_Lover23



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood Needs A Hug, Alternate Ending, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Episode: s03e20 City of Glass, Heavy Angst, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt No Comfort, I don’t give them nice things, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane Needs A Hug, Magnus Bane in Edom, No Fluff, Sad Alec Lightwood, Sad Magnus, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:49:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26187484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malec_Lover23/pseuds/Malec_Lover23
Summary: An alternate ending to 3x20, set after the proposal but before Magnus goes to Edom.|Magnus thought he had experienced it all. Acute heartbreak, excruciating agony, paralyzing fear, destructive depression.But as Magnus creates a portal that will take him to Edom, away from his darling eternally, Magnus is confronted with another type of pain.|
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40
Collections: Fluff vs. Angst Battle 2020





	Choose your words ‘cause there’s no antidote for this curse

**Author's Note:**

> I felt that this scene could have used more heart shattering feels, so here I am delivering as always. Obviously not a happy ending. 
> 
> Kudos comments and subscriptions make me happy so leave them if you enjoyed :)

It takes a lot of strength to turn away from Alec, especially after just receiving what he's waited four centuries for. 

Magnus turns toward the balcony, where demons lay their terror on the city all Nephilim are from. 

The city where his Nephilim is from. The Nephilim who wants to marry him, and love him, and comfort him in a passionate manner only Shadowhunters seem to possess. And now Magnus has to let go of it all. All of the proclamations of love, all of the gentle caresses, all of the genuine smiles, all of the doting kisses. 

"Magnus, you can't, no, no, you can't." Magnus hears his love beg him. Feels a new and welcoming weight on his ring finger of his left hand.

They were never destined to be together. That thought alone sends Magnus biting back a sob, because for a small amount of time, Magnus truly believed he finally had it all. 

Magnus swallows down another sob and turns to face his Alexander. Alec approaches him, shaking his head violently. His boy is stubborn to a fault, but when it comes to saving lives, no matter how selfish Magnus wishes to be in the moment, Magnus will find the strength to be more stubborn. 

"Magnus, don't leave me, please. We have to get married, you deserve to be happy. Don't leave Magnus, you can't." The unrestrained anguish in his voice shatters Magnus' heart. The knowledge he won't be able to comfort Alec through his anguish shatters the remainder of his heart. 

"Alexander, I have to. I'm the only one who can save Alicante, save you and your siblings." Magnus barely recognizes his own voice, his mind is screaming one thing while his bleeding heart is yearning for another. 

Magnus allows himself a few more precious moments that will essentially harbor the last tendrils of happiness in Magnus' long life. Magnus takes Alec's shaking hands with a gentleness beyond him considering the circumstance, "Promise me, promise me you'll take care of yourself. That you'll find solace in those who love you and care for you. You need to promise me, Alexander." 

"Magnus, I only care about you. I want you, I want to find solace in you. I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Magnus." Tears full up his gorgeous hazel eyes, and he leans forward so their foreheads touch. 

"There's nothing to apologize for, my love. It's all forgiven," Magnus soothes, bringing a hand down Alec's arm in a comforting manner that doesn't help his churning stomach. "You're all I've ever wanted, Alexander. Remember that." 

"Then stay here. Stay with me, please Magnus, if that's true then you need to stay here." 

"I want to, I want to stay more than anything. But if I don't go then everything you care about will get torn apart by demons, including me." Alec sobs, bringing their lips together for a fervent kiss that tastes of salt and ash. 

When they part, Alec grips onto his jacket, pulling him in for another short kiss. "I love you Alexander, more than you'll ever know. I will always love you, you were always my happy ending." 

"I love you too, Magnus, so much, more than anything in the entire world. I would go with you in a heartbeat, you know that." Alec stares into his eyes, a Shadowhunter and warlock's heart beating in tandem, both aching from what feels like a visceral wound. 

"I know you would, my darling," Magnus keeps his hands roaming down Alec's back, etching the feeling of Alec being close to him in his mind. "But I would have to watch you die, and that's even more of a nightmare than this. Find happiness, for me?" 

Alec manages a nod, knowing it will give Magnus relief at least for the time being. The ground shakes beneath them as yet another building in Alicante crumbles. 

Alec squeezes Magnus' bicep as they reluctantly separate, Alec's touch staying with Magnus even as he walks away. 

Magnus knows pain is relative. Magnus knows pain comes in all different kinds of form, some crueler than others.

Magnus has experienced pain in several ways. Pain he didn't think he would come back from. Pain that left him exposed, pain that morphed him and changed him to make the man he is today. 

Magnus thought he had experienced it all. Acute heartbreak, excruciating agony, paralyzing fear, destructive depression. 

But as Magnus creates a portal that will take him to Edom, away from his darling eternally, Magnus is confronted with another type of pain. 

A suffering so overwhelming, a grief so crippling, a desolation so terrorizing that when he arrives in Edom, he collapses onto the hot sand. 

The last image of Alec, his face coated in tears as he watched Edom snatch Magnus away from him. 

Magnus slams his hand against the ground, wailing louder than the demons he still needs to kill. He digs his fingers into the sand, boiling fury replacing the blurry heartache. 

Red sparks fly around his hands, as he stands up and rages all his anger towards the demons circling him. 

They all fall to the ground and dissipate seconds later. Magnus sways on his feet as more tears fall down his face. 

He stumbles over to the rift, calling his remaining energy to his palms, where more magic shoots out of his hands to close the rift. Cutting off all ties to Earth, to Alicante, to Alexander. 

All energy exhausted, Magnus has no choice but to fall to his knees, waves of dizziness causing his mind to swirl as Magnus crumples back to where he was before, curled against the ground. 

For the longest time, Magnus didn't think he deserved a love that came with his hazel eyed, dark haired beauty. At the end of it all, Magnus was starting to settle and adjust to a life with Alec constantly loving him like it was the only reason he existed. 

Life surely has a wicked way of showing everyone exactly what they're deserving of. 

As Magnus sobs, face pressed against the searing ground of Edom, Magnus realizes he wasn't really worthy of his Angel after all.


End file.
